Man-Only Fashion Terms

Man-bag
So there's the hand-bag for men, which seems like a practical modification of an accessory we women have enjoyed for years. Briefcases weigh a ton of bricks, and pockets aren't made to hold iPads so why not let the guys in our good times?

Mandals
Man + style = men's fashion math for beginners. As men's fashion verges into unknown territory, we've had to invent new words. The general equation is as follows: Man + women's fashion = new outrageous male product. After almost a decade of these hybrid terms, editors of the Oxford English Dictionary are finally taking note. The Wall Street Journal reports that the people with the power to make "bootylicious" part of the English language are now considering those confounding men's fashion contractions for their next edition. It being Fashion Week and all, it's a good time brush up on your man style-speak. for starters, mandals. Blame Birkenstocks and the band Phish for the rise of the man sandal. Because men's fashion isn't nearly as fickle as women's we've been subjected to nearly twenty summers of men's hairy toes, and trickle-up economy of leather straps that start, and hopefully stop, with the commander-in-chief.

Murse
Here's why: they take it too far. This addition to Terrence Howard's Oscar tux is right out of grandma's closet. As to what's inside it, our best guess is elbow length gloves and a sample vile of White Diamonds perfume.

Mewelry
Joe Pesci's pinky finger used to be the only place you'd find a splash of silver and stone on a man's body. But thanks to Johnny Depp, pirate tastemaker, men are gathering colorful, beaded chains and arm bangles to their treasure chest -- that's a rugged name for a 'mewelry box'.

Meggings
In a meta-meta-Malkovich phenomenon, meggings are a double contraction. Jeans + leggings + men = meggings. In the past year guys have hopped on the jeggings bandwagon, first on the runway, then on the talk show circuit (ahem, Conan). Next up is anyone's guess. Yes they're comfortable, and they kind of look like actual pants, but no, they're not more flattering than sweatpants. In fact, go back to sweatpants.

Marfists
A Marfist is man who fearlessly embraces the man-scarf for all seasons. The neck-cessory preference depends on the man, of course. For David Beckham it's a thick, knotted pashmina. Jude Law opts for a thin, dandy-looking single loop, like a sweatband for an elephant's neck. And Ryan Gosling? He represents the Upper East Side ladies-who-lunch approach to Marfism.

Mantyhose
All hail the worst invention of the twenty-first century. Men in tights was a Mel Brooks joke in the '90s, now it's straight-faced reality.

Manties
They've been around longer than we want to believe, but only recently have we given them a name. If we knew in the '90s what we know now, Clinton would have had a third option: boxers, briefs or man panties. What about Mongs, you ask? They exist too, but let's not encourage anyone.

Mirts
And if you're looking for culprit in the mantyhose brigade, point the finger at man-skirts. After "Braveheart" popularized the macho kilt, both high and low brands began creating more opportunities for men to flaunt their legs. But what shoes to wear? Mandals, of course

Meels
You've got to have the grace of a professional ice-skater to pull off these heels without looking like a Bosom Buddy. The alternative, modeled by the likes of Lenny Kravitz to Tom Cruise, is the 'moot'. The male heeled-boot, designed to look like a masculine, height-accelerating after-thought. ("These 3-inch heels? They're just my normal, everyday boots!") You can't pull those tricks with us, guys. We invented them.

Mankini
At a loss for words? It's a Mankini. Say it with me: Man-kee-nee.

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