Things Not to Mention When Calling in Sick to Work

From Collegehumor.com:

1) “Can’t make it in today – there’s a new Marmaduke in the paper!!”

2) “To be honest, I’m just not a big Wednesday guy.”

3) “Did Jesus have to call in to the office when he was taking a sick day?”

4) “Just having a little difficulty sorting out what’s reality and what’s dreamscape, that’s all.”

5) “Today I must commence the reeducation of my Pomeranian-Beagle mix, ‘Little Lord Fontleroy.’”

6) “I need to make more time for the things that make me happy, and my roommate just bought a handle of McCormick’s Vanilla

7) “Why are you calling me? Didn’t you see my Facebook status? I’m meditating!”

8) “Duh, I’ll be at my dad’s office. Is today not Take Your Child to Work Day?"

9) “I know I said this last time too, but this time I really did only mean to send the sexts to the legal department, not the whole office.”

10) “I still don’t see why me cooking the fries from home today is going to pose such a big ‘problem’ for you.”

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