ADFLY

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

What if Charles Dickens and his characters had written for Twitter?

If Charles Dickens had to write his stories in 140 characters, he'd no doubt ask: "Please, Sir, can I have some more?" But if he were around today and wanted to stay in touch with the Twitter generation, he might well have to give the online world of tweets and trending a go. His biographer Claire Tomalin said this week that children can no longer read his "amazingly relevant" works because their attention spans are ruined by "dreadful" TV. So, in honour of his birth 200 years ago today, we've boiled down his books to 140-character tweets.




Barnaby Rudge
Mystery murder: Essex nutter with a pet raven conned into rioting in London, dodgy MPs, couple of hangings, murder solved. Lovers wed. #Aah!

The Pickwick Papers
Nice rich old man Sam Pickwick & chums travel round the UK countryside and write about findings. Cue funny scrapes inc Mr P getting jailed.

A Tale of Two Cities
French Revolution, boozy lawyer defends Brit toff spy, falls for his lover & helps her save him from guillotine. #Bestof timesworstoftimes

Nicholas Nickleby
Nick's dad loses money & dies. Nick, ma & sis have to live with horrid rich uncle. Posh ppl cruel, but Nick comes out on top #Happyeverafter

A Christmas Carol
Miserly Scrooge mean to all inc Bob C who's got sick son Tim. Spooked by 3 ghosts on Xmas Eve. Wakes changed man, buys big bird. #happyxmas!

The Old Curiosity Shop
Nell lives in shop wiv grampy who gambles to save for her future. Loses shop to mean moneylender. They flee, get hunted down - and die. Sob.

The Adventures of Oliver Twist
Orphan flees workhouse, snared by villain Fagin, gets caught pickpocketing, old gent takes pity, gets kidnapped then rescued. #Happyending!

Our Mutual Friend
Bloke due to wed to ensure fortune "drowns". Cash goes to working class Boffins. Blackmail, villainy then dead hero returns to #wed and win

The Mystery of Edwin Drood
Orphan falls foul of opium-soaked choirmaster who obsesses over his betrothed. Dickens dies before he finishes the story. #hence the mystery

David Copperfield
Mean stepdad sends Dave to work in London, he flees to live with Aunt, becomes a lawyer, falls for boss's girl and defeats enemy Uriah Heep.

Bleak House
Saintly Ester pressured to marry man she doesn't love. Murder, inheritance battle and case of spontaneous human combustion. #tons of twists

Hard Times
Dour milltown teacher tries to reform circus lass while own kids go off rails & get into robbery. Local worker tries to dump his drunk wife.

Little Dorrit
Amy Dorrit & dad Bill live in debtor's jail. He's freed, she falls for pauper Arthur. Strange secret and villain with two names in the mix.

Great Expectations
Pip's a gent cos of cash windfall. Gets greedy, disowns family, discovers benefactor is escaped con. Mad Miss Haversham fries, #he gets girl

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