IT'S TIME FOR A NEW CAR WHEN

You make a left turn and your date falls out.

You lose a "stoplight challenge" to a 16-year-old on a moped.

Your temporary spare tire is worn down to the hub.

You stop to perform a Chinese fire drill and the car is actually on fire.

The (your call letters) traffic reporter starts to refer to you by name.

An immigrant family can't make the rent for your back seat.

The only letters left on your Pacer logo are "C" and "R."

The Wal-mart Car Center stops stocking Yugo parts.

The little dog with the bouncing head takes a crap on your dashboard.

Still have original-eqipment "Admiral" tires.

It's easier to see with your head outside the passenger window.

You have to connect the lapbelt from the center seat to the buckle on your driver's side.

Your tilt steering wheel keeps falling into your lap.

You burn out a tube in your car radio.

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