Things That Happen In ’90s Teen Movies That Never Happen In Real Life

(thefrisky.com)1990s Teen Movies: Dazed, Confused And Mostly Inaccurate:

The 1990s was an innocent time to be a teen. The Internet was in its infancy, alternative was the mainstream, and the most serious political issue of the day involved whether the President had lied to Congress about oral sex with an intern. Let's face it, the 1990s basically WERE a teen movie, so the actual teen movies had to go above and beyond. But there were a lot of things accepted as gospel in teen movies that NEVER happened in real life. Here's the list.


That Geek Girl Would Be Hot Without Those Glasses
Oh, God! Who wants to look at that totally ugly nerd girl? Gross! But wait a minute, if she just took off those glasses and....GORGEOUS! News flash: when nerd girls, like the one in "She's All That", take off their glasses, people don't fall in love with them instantly and finally see how gorgeous they are. They pretty much knew already.

The Big House Party The Whole School Comes To
"What? So-and-so's parents are out of town? There's going to be a party?! EVERYBODY'S going to be there? The jocks and the nerds and the burnouts and the band geeks?" Stop it. I'm not saying there aren't parties in high school, but unlike what happens in "Can't Hardly Wait," "everybody" is never invited.

The Overblown Declaration Of Love
In real life, first crushes and teen love can feel like the most overpowering sensations on earth. But you know who commandeers a loudspeaker and tells the whole school how much is loves his girlfriend? Um, nobody. And if someone did it the way heath Ledger's character does in "10 Things I Hate About You" everyone would instantly have an 11th reason to hate him.

The Teacher Who Cares So...SO MUCH
We're not saying there aren't great teachers out there. There are. But c'mon, Michelle Pheiffer in "Dangerous Minds?" The problem with inner city schools wasn't that the teachers weren't sexy and charismatic enough.

Ubsurdly Motivational Coach Speech WORKS EVERY TIME
Everybody loves a good halftime speech, but sadly, coaches in real life have a big disadvantage to their Hollywood doppelgangers, like this one in "Varsity Blues": 50 percent of them always lose.

Virginity Is A Sign Of Good Character
Teenagers have had sex with each other for as long as their have been humans on earth and teen movies like "Cruel Intentions" have always used sex as a plotline. And while we don't mind a little fudging to tell a good story, why does the virgin always have to be "the good girl?" Can't the heroine enjoy sex once in a while?

Everyone Has Sex, No One Uses Birth Control, No One Gets STDs
We understand that most teen movies are attractive fantasies and it's no teenager's dream to end up pregnant or with a terrible disease. But would a little reality kill us? In "American Pie," Jason Biggs' character has sex with a hot pastry for crying out loud and doesn't even suffer a burn.

All Teens Are Amazing Musicians
In real life, a lot of teenagers who play in bands aren't very good at their instruments. To be honest a lot of popular musicians aren't either. So why is it that every kid who picks up a guitar in a '90s teen movie like "Empire Records" is the next incarnation of Jimi Hendrix?

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