Get The Girl...Maxim Style...

Maxim magazine offers these tips to guys on how to get the girl...And I think it's funny...So I thought I'd Share:

Give her chocolate. If she's allergic, dip the chocolate in medicine.

Take her for a long, romantic walk. Too tired to walk? Follow her on a minibike.

Take a trip together. If you can't afford a trip, enlist in the Navy.

Exercise is a sure way to make her hot. If she's still not hot after exercise, suggest plastic surgery.

Slash her tire. Then leave a new tire on her doorstep, ring the bell and run. You're her hero.

Invite her over for a quiet dinner at home. While you're at it, invite some friends over, too. Might as well get a keg. Party!

Introduce her to your friends. Don't have any friends? Take her to a cemetery and say that all your friends died on a class trip. Make your move.

Tell her she looks beautiful. If she doesn't react, that means she's sleeping.

Gently wake her and reiterate how beautiful she looks. If she screams in terror, serve her breakfast in bed.

Send flowers to her workplace. Unless she works in a floral shop. In that case, send a beehive. The bees will help pollinate all her plants.

Relationships can grow stale over time. Keep things fresh by having sex with other women.

If she likes to dance, take her to a club. If she doesn't like to dance, let her sit in a wheelchair while you push her around the dance floor.

Arrange activities that you both enjoy. Such as watching you suffer.

Arrive on time. If you think you're going to be late, drive faster.

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